Our relationships with people can affect our professional development and influence us positively or negatively. Influence can be powerful and subtle, and so most times we don’t know we are being influenced until it’s a bit too late. Although peer pressure is commonly associated with young people, adults experience it as well. We need to assess our relationships and make vital decisions about who we allow to influence us.
Coaches/Mentors: These people support you and are there to help you not just to grow your skills but also to navigate you through tricky situations. They act as a sounding board.
Comforters: These people reduce the intensity e.g. of your fears and calm you down when you have challenges. They are always quick to encourage you and give you a hug when you need one.
Clarifiers: People who help free you of confusion and help you to understand things better. They can possibly help you identify ways of achieving your goals.
Confronters: These people mean well, are very blunt and will not hesitate to challenge you when need be especially if they observe that you are doing something wrong. Confronters are few especially when you are at the top, or hold a position of authority.
Collaborators: A person who willingly assists and co-operates with you to achieve your goal is a collaborator.
Energy Drainers: People who make you feel ineffective and frustrated. They range from those who constantly put you down, are very negative, filled with self-pity, to those who have no other mission but to simply waste your time.
Opposers: Whenever you have a dream or goal, there will be people who oppose you. Opposition often proves that you are doing something significant with your life. These people often put you down and when they know what you’re planning to do e.g. set up a business, study for a qualification etc., they will say things like – “Who do you think you are?”, “Do you know how old you are?”, “Remember that you are black”, “Do you think you can get any clients at all?”, “You are the only woman” etc. By the time they finish, you’ll feel like giving up on your dream.
Gateway keepers: These people have positions of authority in relation to you getting access to training, information, resources etc. They control access to some opportunities.
Role Models: These are people who have done the things that you are aspiring to do.
If you are to achieve your goals, you will need to seriously assess your relationships. Doing this will help you to effective manage your relationships and identify those that you need to:
- Limit your association with
- Expand your association with
- Stop associating with.
I will recommend that you get a notepad and start defining your relationships. Girlfriends it’s relationship definition time! Article written by Veronica Akinyemi, Director Employ A Woman.
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